Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
