just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And then my night got REAL pukey
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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