Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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