Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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