I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
