I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dignity is for republicans.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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