the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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