I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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