She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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