I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
