Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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