so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
