Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just had sex bonerless
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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