the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you had me at cake vodka
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize