I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My Higher Power is John Stamos
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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