Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
not ubering you a puppy
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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