hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
