Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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