drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
