this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I would fuck him just for his dog
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
