My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
