Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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