I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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