it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
