A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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