Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
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It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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