what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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