Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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