If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
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I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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