dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
