ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
