I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
