Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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