Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
