Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
