if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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