You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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