Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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