Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
