Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
