That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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