hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have demons in me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
