I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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