hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
