i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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