i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
