Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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