two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
