dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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