love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize