not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
