guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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