we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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