I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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