I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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