Dual....:-)
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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