It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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