i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
