Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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