the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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