Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
