Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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