Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
