can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
