i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just forgot I was standing up.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
