i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
