i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
