hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
A bitchslap is in order.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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